"My prom" | "By Means of a Song and Dance" | "Biotech is Godzilla" | "The tragic story of a lion in love" | Nothing
This an essay I wrote for college English, the Professor likes it so much, he wants me to hand it to the school magazine. Now of course the essay is based on my prom. I only had a page and a half, so I did what Bill Clinton would do; no not come up a dress, lie.
The subject of my essay is that of the worst days of my life, my senior prom. Before I can explain why my prom was so horrible, there is certain information you will need before I can continue. First off, I did not want to go; I hate dancing, getting dressed up in a two hundred-dollar suit and, mostly, I hate spending four hours with a bunch of snobby preps. Not only did I have all this stacked against me, there was another key factor, my date. My date, my two-time x-girlfriend, would not let me get out of going to the prom. With this all in mind, I can now continue.
The day began OK, I was still trying to bail out, but of course it was too late. I got ready about six thirty, and I was to meet up with the rest of the group at seven; there was a total of eight of us. My date and I got to my friend's house at about seven. However, the two of us were the only ones out of the group to show up. Plus, the limo drive and his "daughter" want to leave now, so my date was getting nervous; I could not have been happier. However, around seven thirty, just as the limo driver was about to leave, every one showed up and the picture taking began; I hate getting my picture taken. After all the pictures were taken, we got in the limo and we notice a small problem, the limo is only meant for four to six people, not eight. So after two minutes, of squishing into the limo, we were off.
As we were driving to the lovely prom, the eight of us, as squish as we were, realized another small problem, no air-conditioning. As we were baking in our limo, our driver decides to open the windows, but it's raining and now we are soaking wet. The driver got lost, and informs us that he will be teaching his "daughter" how to drive his limo. We were promised drinks on the way on the ride up, but of course we did not get any. So our driver stops at the local liquor store to pick us up some beer. My date should not have drunk that much beer but because I did not want any, she had too had one. After the second time getting lost, I saw a sign, a tree fell on power line and it blows up. When we finely arrive, our driver decides to cut the line of limos so we would have to walk in the rain to the place.
As the evening continued, it got worse. Every single prep from the Union High School had to be there. To make matters worst, I had to sit right next to my archenemy; she ran me over with her electric wheelchair after taking a picture of her. Then my date decides to go dancing, she does not ask me, she asks my friend's date to dance with her; he was pissed too. It took three guys too cool him down form kicking my dates ass. I finally got up to dance; after two minutes she wanted to sit down; her stomach was bothering her.
After sitting here for thirty minutes, drowning in my sorrow, the food came. We had something really good, it was so good I do not remember what it was, any way, some thing in the food do not sit right with my dates stomach, perhaps it was the six beers she drank. She started to feel stick, so she ran to the bathroom, but before she could get there she throw up all over me. Now, to make matters worse, the one girl that I really liked was about to ask me to dance, but she changed her mind after I was covered with puke. Ever one saw me standing there covered in puke and laughed their asses off. We were about to leave, when they were about to call the prom king and queen.
As a joke, knowing no one would vote for me, I ran for prom king. They read the name of fifth runner-up; it was not me. OK maybe, I thought, I' m fourth runner-up, I mean come on what's the chances of a freak like me being come prom king, right? One to a hundred, right? Wrong! I was named prom king. To make matters even worse, the prom queen was no other then my archenemy. My puked covered self-had to crown her; everything went OK, until some of the puke fell on her. Now she got real mad, I messed up a Five hundred-dollar dress, so she turns her "scooter" on and chased me around the prom. The only part the video yearbook that I was in was of that "chase" scene.
Now, no nightmare would be complete with out a ride home, our driver was a "little" drunk. He parked a quarter of a mile away from the place. The back of the limo was sparking like crazy. Our driver was burning his tires and we got lost, again. So were lost, its late, would else could go wrong. Well the back-right tires blow up. Our driver called Triple An and they said they would be there in thirty minutes. We got bored, so one of the guys' stares throwing our driver's drinking glasses around. He throws it at me and I missed it and it smashed all over me. Our driver heard the crashed and looked at us. So for the next hour, until triple A came, I had to sit there with puke and glass all over me. As we were driving, I had to get the glass off me, so I throw it out the limo. Well the car behind us saw it and turns on its top lights and pulls us over. The police officer arrested our driver for dunk driving. My dad had to come to the police station and get me. I did not get home until three in the morning. I own five hundred dollars for my puked tux and another five hundred dollars for my archenemy's dress. Well that concludes my nightmare; remember my tale the next time you are dragged somewhere you don't want to go.